Funny Poem-I’LL BE DAMNED-Man’s Child Support Anthem

Posted on April 6, 2008 by admin.
Categories: ..

funny picture of a man who is a financially strapped bum after paying all his money to child support
Damn! Why did I have those kids. Damn Child Support!!

Okay people Remember IT’S ONLY COMEDY and no arena is safe. This is an humorous piece on the pre and post effects of paying child support. Even though Men probably are the majority of the payers of child support (the one’s who pay-not the ones who quit jobs and become hiding members of society). Some women do end up paying Child Support and how they get to be the payer has its own group of reasons.

Child Support is for “The Child” but sometimes ends up being for “The New Car, The New Fur, That Jewelry I been Looking at”, and You Know that is the Truth. For those people (men and women) who get roped into the Child Support Noose this poem reflects the journey into, journey through and journey out. Some may take this Child Support Poem as a warning, reflection, or learning experience but you are guaranteed to take something after reading it-Even if its just your Opinion.

funny picture of a lady showing off all the money she collected from child support payments getting ready to go shopping
Oh Yes!! Time to go shopping, I just cashed the Child Support Check!!

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I’LL BE DAMNED-Man’s Child Support Anthem

I’ll be Damn– just got paid and my check looking real short
Guess it’s because of last week when I got wrongfully jerked into court
She saw me with another woman having fun- now I’m getting stuck with child support

Damn- me and that girl’s relationship had been over a long time
I always provided for the little shorty even if at times- I wasn’t sure he was mine
But there she was in court telling the judge- I ain’t never gave her a dime

Steadily lying and acting all emotional even looking me straight at times- in the eye
Just wanting me to know she was good at this and that the judge- was buying her lie
Trying to put this burden on me to keep me down while she rides high

Years go past new car new house got a Jacuzzi tub- to sit her ass in
Me old car, trap apartment, some baloney and a bottle of gin
Trying to warn you boys mess with a skank and you definitely won’t win

Oh we had fun it was A night or a few nights she gave me that hot cherry pie
But if I had known what the future would hold I would have kept my thigh away from her thigh
All this cause I moved on to another female and when she tried to get me back I wouldn’t comply

“That bitch ain’t getting none of my money”, she would holler and yell
Stating such things as- Come back to me baby- or else I’ll see you in hell
The price a man has to pay sometimes for laying up with the wrong tail

Don’t get it twisted I’m always gonna take care of my own- do my daddy part
It just knowing that every time this trifling girl sees me with another woman she tries to break us apart
Like I said in the beginning it was when she saw me with my new girl that she decided to put my paycheck in her shopping cart

Now don’t get me wrong I think men should take care of their kids and not depend on the state
But women shouldn’t take you to court for child support just cause they choose to player hate
And they stand in court lying to the judge and you know her words just like her long hair and green eyes-all fake

Men have been paying child support for a long time for a whole lot of seasons
But not taking care of their kids hasn’t really ever been the reason
It’s just that when you show favor to another female the one you finished with feels its treason
So she starts acting up blowing up your phone as she makes call after call
Dammit she says he won’t pick up the phone I bet I know who to call
He Think he’s going have that new bitch looking at clothes in the mall

Next think you know you checking your mail as you leave the house on your way to work-
And you see a letter all officially typed with a symbol on it from the county clerk
Requesting your presence in court cause the girl done shoveled some dirt

Well now let’s see how much you got to pay -says the judge- as he figures the amount
You say I been giving her money all the time-judge says “ those are considered gifts so They don’t count”
So there goes what little money you were putting into your banking account

This story goes on and on from the creation as you dish out the money in a equal portion
And this way of taking your money- ain’t no more than some kind of legal extortion
Tell you it almost makes a pro-lifer like me believe in the act of abortion

You see I rather buy my kids things by reaching in my own damn pocket
That way I know they getting the money instead of it being used on a pair of diamond earrings or some gold filled locket
But the judge signs the papers and out goes the cash- until the date on the papers say stop it

So young men take heed in this poem if you want to end up eating steak instead of spam
Moral of this story if you break up with a baby mama and she asks “ are you seeing someone?” Don’t Say -I Am
Cause she will haul you off to child support court for no reason and- you will be screaming- I’ll be damn!

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