Unemployment Rate-8 Tips To Beat It Down(Get Hired)

Posted on February 10, 2010 by D-Wish.
Categories: Funny Videos.

The Unemployment Rate has been increasing like maggots on a egg, that you dropped under your bed two weeks ago, and it stinks just as bad.

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures, and that means you have to start thinking outside of the box.

If you have lost your job, or are having a sneaking feeling that you are about to lose your job (that certified letter on top of the dresser) (that arrived 2 days ago while you are vacationing) (from your employer-still unopened), then this is for you.

Get Prepared To Shine On Your Next Interview By Knowing The Do’s and The Just Don’t Do’s.

Here We Go…………………….

1. Make sure you don’t react in a negative way if your Interviewer is a Jerk

2. Be careful what you say on your Interview-Think Before You Speak-For Example Don’t say things like:
Do you get a second chance if you are caught stealing?
Do you really check out the Resumes and do Background Checks?
Do you enforce harassment policies?
Is Dating more than one Co-Workers OK?
My Last Boss was a Real Jerk, I hope you are not related.
Can you speed this up a little?

3. Don’t do things like:
Taking a Drink before the Interview to calm your nerves, and forget to spray cologne on your lips.
Wear the same clothes you partied in last night, and forget to wash out the puke.
Stare at The Interviewer’s Chest if she is a hot female, just snap a photo with your Iphone and view later.
Dig in your nose and pop new found treasures on the Interviewers desk.

4. Do not use quotes from:
People you know in jail.
50 cent or other Gangsta Rappers
T.V. Evangelist
George Bush

5. Don’t use Slang like:
Yo Dawg (street credo) I need this grind to help out the Baby Mama
I need to make some paper foshizzle mynizzle
Yeah man (hippie drawl) I could really go for a doobie
Like ahh (yuppie zing) am I hired Like ah really I ah like to know Like ah

6. Don’t give out too much information:
My Parole officer said if I don’t get a job quick, I’ll be headed back to the Slammer.
I need a legal source of income to cover up the money I make from selling drugs.
I just need some extra money to buy a Flat Screen and then I’m History.

7. Don’t ask for favors:
Can you hire me now, but wait for me to report after the summer, I need to Spring Break in Rio.
Hey, can you lend me a few dollars until I get hired, I need to get some drinks to celebrate.
Can you give me a lift home.

8. Be creative-Increase Your Chances To Get That Job